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May 28 Memorial Weekend RemembrancesIt's Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend...a time of reflection, I suppose, remembering those who are no longer with us, those who served our country in times of conflict and in peace, and those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.
My Dad served in the armed forces, first in WWII stationed in Italy and then in the Korean War, serving stateside that tour of duty, both times as a photographer and radio operator His birthday was this month...he would have been 87 if he were alive. Great guy, my Dad. He taught me all sorts of things...how to be still in Nature and let the animals come to me, how to change a tire and change the oil on my car, how to use tools, photography, how to be self-sufficient. How to laugh and be light-hearteded...I am very much my father's daughter.
Right from the beginning when I first met Dave, I'd think "Dad would have liked Dave." I wish they could have met. I can almost hear them talking now, exchanging humorous quips and wisecracks.
After he retired, Dad became a member of what was then called The Confederate Air Force. The CAF acquires, restores, and maintains in flying condition military aircraft from the WWII era. Dad's wing (group) had a B-17, a Flying Fortress. They gutted and rebuilt that beauty from the wheels up. She's an amazing aircraft...ever see the movie "Memphis Belle"? Well...let me tell you...one flight with her and you'll truly believe she is a living, breathing entity. At the very least, a wise and knowing presence.
Towards the end of his life, I asked Dad what he would like in the way of life celebration service...Being him, the first thing he said was, "Oh just put me out by the curb with the garbage."
 Um...okay, so what's your second choice?? His second choice was to be cremated and his ashes given up to the Gulf from the B-17. I told him I would do my best to make that happen when the time came.
The time did come, and we lost my Dad, right about this time of May nine years ago.
You know, it just struck me...writing about my Dad isn't what I started to do...this just headed in that direction...and here it is the date of his death nine years ago.
When I contacted Dad's wing buddies to see about the possibility of carrying out his request, they responded in humbling and remarkable fashion. Yes, it was possible to take Dad's ashes out over the Gulf and the plane would be "ours" for that final flight...we could go up and invite others to make the trip with us.
What a testament to my Dad...you have to understand it is very expensive to fly that beauty...and just isn't done for "pleasure" flights. I was so touched...and realized how much these guys thought of my Dad.
I remember the safety talk on the tarmac prior to take-off. Since we would be over open water and being a non-swimmer, I asked about life jackets (a Mae West, as they are called, don't ask me why). I was told "You won't need one." Um...okay, what if we have engine trouble. "You won't need one." Alrighty....
I remember boarding, having a few seconds to decide where to sit...with a whisper of conscious thought but mostly guided by something else, I sat in the radio operator's seat. Naturally...where else? Other family and friends took their places....one spot left vacant....whether intentional or not...symbolizing a spot left for my Dad.
I remember the LOUD rumbling of each engine, the smoke from each as it turned over and caught, the vibrations of the cowlings...the smooth, smooth take-off...
Flying over land and then out over the Gulf....that majestic warbird knew...she knew what her mission was that day. I could hear her whispers of reassurance...all would be well...she had seen so much...had undertaken much more dangerous missions before....she would well look after the souls in her care that day.
Again, back to the likes of "Memphis Belle," let me tell you folks, that beauty is indeed a living, knowing, wise, and brave spirit. Just steel, bolts, tires? Nope. Not at all.
Out over the water, the time came to release Dad's physical remains to their final resting place. Frank, one of Dad's wing buddies, steadied me while I stood at the overhead hatch and let Dad fly free.
There is a saying....when someone has passed, that they have "gone West."
You know, it was as if Dad had known this would be the way I would need to say good-bye to him. Real closure...we'd always been close, as I suppose fathers and daughters are....we shared the marvel and excitement of flying things...he had such spirit and instilled that in me...I am my father's daughter.
I remember as a small child we'd go, park the car outside the fence at the end of the tarmac at the airport, and watch the planes take off and land. Way cool. Dad and I had this joking, informal competition...what kind of aircraft we'd been up in...I've almost caught up with him...all I lack is a flight in a blimp. He'd been up in and, for a few minutes, at the controls of the Goodyear Blimp stationed in Houston. Some day, perhaps....
I remember walking about the plane...standing in the cockpit, marveling at the act of flight, the beauty of the day, the way the sun sparkled on the water, the power and strength of the B-17's engines...the bond that was shared by Dad and his wing buddies.
Landing...you couldn't really tell we had touched down...it was that smooth.
I have been up in huge commercial jets, small one-prop planes, helicopters, and a hot air balloon...never....NEVER...have I felt so safe as in the care of that beautiful, battle-proud warbird.
She knew. Thank you, Texas Raiders, for the experience of a lifetime.
Thank you, Dad, for being so wise. For teaching me to be strong. For showing such love for me and Mom. For passing on your knowledge of Nature...the way things work...your sense of humor. Thank you for serving your country, not without sacrifice.
Thank you for still standing watch over me.
For more information on the Commemorative Air Force, visit http://www.commemorativeairforce.org/
May 21 Catching Up Some ThingsThis morning I'm getting around to uploading some photos from our last weeks in Scotland. During those last couple of weeks, I was ill and feeling very rough...unfortunately, that means I wasn't quite the shutterbug I had been throughout the rest of my stay there. I wish now I had taken shots of our hotel in Edinburgh where we stayed the last two days...of Dave and the lads...of scenes of Edinburgh while we walked....oh well. I was doing good (YOINKS I almost spelled that "guid"
 ) the final few days just to keep myself together and basically functional.I hope you enjoy the photos. The train...I can hear the recording in my mind..."This train is for Edinburgh"...the pronounciation of "Rosyth"...and my ever-favorite caution..."Mind the gap." I'll get a t-shirt or bumper sticker when we return that says that..."Mind the gap."
A sight that never failed to amuse me was the "walk" signal on the crosswalk right into Dunfermline. Yeah, you usually have the red stick figure man that indicates you shouldn't cross. Then there's the green figure in walking pose...well, nowhere but Scotland would you have one who is slightly staggering...see the photo...looks like he's had a fine time in the pubs!
 Teehee! It never failed to make me giggle. So many different beers in the markets. The labels intrigued me, so towards the end of my stay we got two that I just had to sample. The Black Sheep...gotta love my sheepies...it was pretty good...that sheep looks like it's had a good night out on the town, eh? Jim...down boy...get a grip on yourself....
The other one, Fursty Ferret, great label and really pretty brew...but YUKKKKKK ! It tasted like a furry, dusty ferret. Seems I do remember Dave finished it off for me....and...um...enjoyed it! Now I'm thinking there are a few more pics in the camera...I'll check that out soon and see if there are some that warrant uploading.
So far today it's not blowing a gale and the sun is bright as can be, so I'm planning to join Dave for a jaunt out on the bike later.
Today I think I'll have a rest day...had a Reiki class scheduled for this weekend; however, they are tearing up the side street and started breaking the concrete on the street right by our house yesterday morning at 7:00 AM. The place was shakin' and things started falling off the walls. Not very promising for a tranquil Reiki class....
 so I rescheduled it for after we get settled in the new place. Ended up working a good while...Dave, of course, was out on the bike for a while. We had our weekly "movie date" in the evening...nice.My work duties are changing...the next couple of weeks promise to be very busy. In addition to transcribing, I'll be relieving for the QA person while she's out of the office for a week, and I'll begin mentoring new MTs this coming week. I'm excited and honored to have this opportunity...I do enjoy teaching/coaching, whether it be Reiki, medical transcription, computer-related stuff, etc. It should be a relief to be pounding the keys less and helping develop the skills of newbie transcriptionists.
We are also moving in a couple of weeks! We've found a wee cute house to rent and are very excited about that. Where we are now is cute and I dreaded making the phone call to our present landlord to tell them we are moving...they have been so very helpful and welcoming in my move to MN and getting settled. I will always be grateful to them for that.
The new place is all on one level and my knees will appreciate that..not going up and down stairs so much, although, of course, there is a basement. It's smaller, less rent, just cute cute cute, a yard for Baby-dog, and a nice finished basement for the bikes and whatever else. Nice big window in the living room....great for Reiki classes...and a nice room I can use as an office and Reiki work. Gotta have my little shaman's cave, ya know...my little "bear den" where I can go to study, meditate, etc.
So I guess we'll need to start packing soon....of course, I've moved more often than Dave and, baby, I can pack in 24 hours and be outta here.
Enjoy the photos...they do stir so many memories of Scotland....I can actually take myself back to that time....feel the weather, hear the distinct voices of family and friends...transport myself back to "that" particular moment...walking hand-in-hand with Dave across that bonnie land...we'll see her again and feel her loving arms embrace us again on the moors, in Edinburgh, walking The Highlands...ahhhh...my beloved Highlands....
Okay, enough. I'll make myself crazed. Have a guid day!
Cheerio!
May 17 LiveSTRONG Day, Part 4Living STRONG
Why me? I suppose that's a question so many diagnosed with cancer ask themselves. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Well, nothing. It happens.
Me? Again, I've been very, very lucky. Yes, I have physical residuals from treatment. Part of my body is missing and what's left is altered by treatment. The possibility of recurrence is always there, lurking in the background, knowing its place as a reminder that each day, each hour, each breath is precious and to be savored.
For me, it has been more of an emotional, spiritual change...certainly it changed the path and nature of the rest of my life. Tough, tough times for a while...a struggle in several ways...but reaching down deep and finding the Warrior within me and persevering, rising from the ashes much like the mythical Phoenix.
Can I say I'm glad I've had cancer? Um...well...feeling physically kind of rough these last few days....not totally...but you know what? I wouldn't have missed this amazing journey of the past five years for the world since it's gotten me to where I am today.
I have lost so much....but gained oh so much.
Survivors who I now call my closest friends in Brenham, Texas...The LAF events I have participated in over the years, the personal victories I have celebrated, the inner strength and courage I have found that surprises even me at times...
Being at my very lowest and, from that, having an empathy for others in physical, emotional, or spiritual distress...and that empathy helping me help others through my Reiki work.
Survivors often feel a need to....do....something....with their lives....give back. Purpose. What I am to do with my life since it looks like I'm hanging around for a while yet? I guess mine is the Reiki work....walking the path with another for a wee while and helping, if I can, them find some peace and relief from the issues they face.
My story is one of renewal, peace, joy, laughter, and loving after cancer and some really tough times. To spread the word that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and it ain't necessarily the train, to voice survivorship issues to anyone who will listen, to do what I can to help others get through that dark forest I walked...been there, done that....take my hand and we'll walk the path together. Oh yeah, and to be a good Scottish/Texan racer's wife.
 Survivors - we're the lucky ones. You betcha. We've got that "edge."
There seems to be an instant, deep, unspoken bond between survivors when they meet. Have you noticed that? It's like some secret society...you can see it in their eyes, a look...you can sense it. We seem to know something others just don't "get." So many amazing, brave men and women...and kids...I have met and been touched by.
The survivor club has steep membership dues. I hope you never have to join...but if you do, you will be in the company of very remarkable souls.
So Wear Yellow and Live Strong today to show your support for cancer survivors, to raise awareness about the issues survivors face, as a survivor standing tall and strong for the world to see.
These LiveSTRONG entries have been rather free-form...flowing thoughts, emotions, and impressions. It's been very therapeutic for me as I deal with post-treatment issues, physical changes, and emotions. Again, the LAF has magical timing in my life...suggesting this activity which has proven helpful to me. Synchronicities...watch for 'em in your life....wondrous things will happen.
Live Strong. As my beloved Scotsman has reminded me several times, have no regrets for the things you have done...or for the things you have not done. Live STRONG.
Thanks for sharing these past few days with me. I hope you enjoy the rest of my Space here...lots of stuff about Scotland...gracious land that she is...my other country...indeed, the country of my soul.
I wish you peace, strength, love, and light and leave you with the following thoughts of Carlos Castaneda from "A Separate Reality."
"The spirit of a warrior is not geared to indulging and complaining, nor is it geared to winning or losing. The spirit of a warrior is geared only to struggle, and every struggle is a warrior's last battle on earth. Thus the outcome matters very little to him. In his last battle on earth a warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear. And as he wages his battle, knowing that his intent is impeccable, a warrior laughs and laughs."
May 16 LiveSTRONG Blog, Part 3Tomorrow is LiveSTRONG Day - Get ready to wear Yellow!
"All I wanna do is have a little fun before I die."
If you are planning to attend a LiveSTRONG ride this year...do so. Go.
I've been to the past four Ride for the Roses in Austin, starting in year 2002. Each year has been an incredible, magical experience.
The first year was, unlike the title of Lance's first book, all about the bike. It was still held in April that year, the last time before it was switched to October. Yep, it was all about the bike that year. I set a personal best on the 40-mile route. That year I was still in my first marriage and my then husband, a much stronger rider than me, let me set the pace. We rocked, rode like we stole something.
God, it was fun...hearing that distinctive whirr of a paceline coming up (you do realize, of course, there is no other sound like that, right?), tagging onto the back of a line of big guys here and there, drafting for a wee ways until I'd start laughing and fall off the back.  Yep, it was all about the bike that year.
"A change would do you good."
The following two years I went solo...solo it was in life, too, being divorced by then. Magical those years were. The rest of the year I'd work hard...that weekend in Austin was my time of personal renewal and retrospection on the past year and the year to come. I took the Friday off, splurged on a nice hotel or cozy B&B (thanks Robin, at Brava House for making me feel like a friend and not just a lodger), bubble baths, prowling shops, meeting up with friends from Houston for dinner, napping, reading...indulging myself for those three days.
So many images from those two years during the Ride weekend....chatting with folks on the street, in shops, in restaurants... sharing our stories and hugging as we departed...perfect strangers now sharing a bond.
Having my hair French braided for the weekend...and then adding yellow color to it...the man in the hotel elevator saying, "Hey, lady, nice hair!"
Acquiring that cap that boasts "Keep Austin Weird"...please, please keep Austin weird, it's a Texan/American treasure...that cap has been all over Scotland.
Standing in a checkout line at the Expo, sporting my yellow LAF cap I got the year before and no one could find anymore...the guy next to me offering me $20 for it..."Nope, the cap's not for sale."
Right before the ride started, at the staging area, up on the hill away from the crowd...rocking to the National Anthem...and then Lance....simply reading the LAF Manifesto to a hushed crowd...the guy who pulled up beside me on the hill...racer's legs, he had (I know what they look like 'cause I'm married to one now!
 ) ...we nodded to each other, "G'morning" and stood in companionable silence as Lance read the Manifesto...what a feeling evoked by those simple words spoken by "the man" himself...no speeches, just that. Nice going, Lance, that was perfect. The defiant, life-celebrating cheers and roars from the crowd when he finished...Never got that guy's name, never saw him again...we parted with a nod...it was simply...a snapshot moment shared.
Laughing and listening to Robin Williams being....um...himself... Bikes of all types everywhere...riders sharing stories as we rode along....the next year, riding alone and hearing this cheering coming up from behind me...a media truck comes up alongside...all cheering and snapping photos of me...encouraging me along...a thumbs up to them as they went by.
Intending to do some sight-seeing in Austin but, looking out my hotel window and seeing folks out riding around Saturday morning, ditching the sight-seeing idea and getting on the bike instead...just had to. Had to. It was a compulsion...a visceral, physical need to get on the bike.
The cold front that blew through Saturday night...folks at the hotel groaning about the North wind and chill outside...not me...I'm dressed for it (hey, a native Texan knows about the unpredictability of the weather) and soooo psyched about riding...ready to party...in my truck with the "Driven" CD I'd picked up at the Expo cranked up...windows down with the refreshing air breezing through....rockin' in the dark on the way to the Exposition Center...celebrating being ALIVE. Yep, all by my lonesome, having a blast!
Living Strong, you bet, baby.Last year...my fourth...a year of new beginnings and of completion....nearing the end of treament and the long years of being on my own (never realizing how lonely I'd been until this man from across the Big Pond came into my life), at the start of a new life with my then fiance', Dave, this amazing Scotsman...such a cyclist, such a big heart I have never seen the likes of before...my life now filled with laughter and loving. What started many months before as a plan to share the ride together as cycling pals now saw us there as an engaged couple, intending to spend the rest of our days together. Dinner Friday night with my dear friend and cycling buddy Jim, his meeting Dave for the first time, the three of us riding together Saturday morning...
Completing our route on Sunday...me with my rose...Dave waiting for me...hugging while we're still on the bikes...the photographer from the Austin paper capturing that moment...that photo says so much about our story...cycling having brought us together...so many similar moments shared by so many others that weekend.
Go to a LiveSTRONG Ride. Talk to people. Share your story. Make memories you will treasure forever.
The whole town is electrified. Bikes everyfreakinwhere. Yellow everywhere. Incredible. Joyous.
Never raised enough funds to meet Lance, but who knows...one day I may get the chance to shake the man's hand and say simply, "Thank you."
So, if you're going to a LiveSTRONG Ride...go. Soak up the weekend. Remember those fighting the good fight and those who have departed the battleground. Ride for them. Ride for yourself. Ride for the hell of it. Ride like ya stole something.
Live Strong, baby!
May 15 LiveSTRONG Blog, Part 2As part of my participation in LiveSTRONG Day this year, I gave an interview to our local paper about the LAF, survivorship issues, and my personal story.
Interestingly, as I was responding to the reporter's questions, she asked at one point, "Are you a writer??" Oh boy...here we go again, eh?
Anyone out there care to support me whilst I write my best-selling autobiography? I promise to invite you for a visit to our cozy cottage in Glen Coe after I make $$$$ from the book and we move to that heaven-on-Earth known as Scotland.
As I mentioned yesterday, I had an easy time of it compared to so many others. My cancer was detected early and, although it was a nasty strain of the disease with a good potential for recurrence, my prognosis is quite good. I underwent surgery - pretty hefty lumpectomy of my right breast (oh what the heck, they never were exactly symmetrical anyway
 ), radiation therapy, and tamoxifen. Cycling kept me fit and sane during treatment. Although not on the road during treatment, I still was on my trainer (it's called "turbo" over in Scotland) 2-3 times each week. My physicians encouraged me to push myself...to stay active...since I was in the best condition of my life upon entering treatment.Isn't it interesting that cancer often strikes when one is in their top physical condition? Like you're that fit and strong so you can fight...
I regained most of my lung capacity in the year following post-treatment; however, the heat combined with humidity of Texas would still sap my strength...just flatten me out. Hence, I had been wanting to move North to a cooler climate for the past few years.
Having a cancer experience has given me that "edge" that survivors have. I tried to explain it to the reporter today...it's that "edge"...if you're a survivor, you know what I mean. I've faced, and come to terms with, my own mortality. Yeah, we all know we're gonna die one day...we are only here on Earth for a New York minute in the big scheme of things...but, hey, I KNOW I'm gonna die. I've spent time contemplating my personal end of days. It gives you a different perspective on life...an "edge."
What's that, you ask? It's knowing that truly this could be my last day, my last hour, in this life. It's milking each day for whatever it brings...and rejoicing in being alive. It's telling that special someone "I love you" when they know good and well you do...but it's telling them. It's the reawakening of the child-like wonder in simple things...the pinkish/purplish hue of the clouds right now at dusk...the sound of Canadian geese honking as they fly over the house. It's laughing and loving...it's cherishing each and every little moment as if it were my last.
It's careening downhill on the bike, watching the speed on my bike computer creep up and up...the sheer thrill of it...it's wanting to drive the car FAST...it's not being scared when chased by dogs on the bike. ("Hey, I've beaten cancer...you dawgs don't skeer me!")
It's boarding a plane and traveling to Washington all by myself...I'm not keen on flying and basically a little hermit...content to live a simple life...but feeling I owed Lance and the LAF something for all the strength I felt from them during treatment...yep, it was payback time.
It's selling basically all my possessions and packing those things which truly define who I am now (the bike and a LOT of books) in a 6x12 U-HAUL trailer and my SUV and driving three days cross-country with my dog and two cats to my new home. My friends were amazed that "little me" would do that.
It's boarding a succession of even larger planes with my then fiance` (now this incredible man I call "husband") and flying across The Big Pond to Scotland to live there with him for three months this past winter.
It's reaching out and embracing those opportunities for adventure, for happiness, for growth, for experiences.
Yep, I'm five years out...good to go...but I keep the memories of my cancer experience simmering on the back burner so as to serve as a benchmark for how to live my life.
"You've gotta be brave and you've gotta be strong."
So I'm off tamoxifen. After five years of taking that little white pill each evening and having it mess with my hormones, I'm off. In more ways than one...I've noticed my concentration in the last few days has been dodgy...feeling kind of absent-minded, even sad/blue over the weekend for no real reason I could pinpoint. Ahhh...the joys of being a woman looking at the back of her forties...and having your hormones screwed with for five years.
What is...interesting? annoying? bemusing?...is that when you get ready to start this drug, you're told all about all the possible side effects, the things to be alert for in the way of drug effects. Guess what? When you come off it, there's no taper...just STOP...cold turkey. Um...okay...so what should I expect, I asked. Gee, no one seems to know. Great. Groovy. Thank you for your input.
 So if you see me standing in a corner with a glazed look in my eyes, just turn me around and point me in the right direction!
Thanks for sharing part of your day/night with me here in this space. Check back tomorrow for more post-cancer ramblings as we approach Wednesday, May 17, LiveSTRONG Day 2006.
And get your yellow ready to wear on Wednesday!
May 14 LiveSTRONG Blog, Part 1The Dove chocolate wrappers have little thoughts in them. The one I just opened says, "Remember your first everything."
I remember the first time I was told I had breast cancer. In the exam room I sat with my then husband and my surgeon, who said the biopsy results were not what we had hoped for...I had cancer.
I remember the tears starting to flow, although I had "known" this was going to be the outcome. I'd had this gut feeling...this knowingness, if you will...that he would give me that news.
What a caring physician he is...he handed me tissues and held my hands, reassuring me everything would be all right. We had caught the cancer early, detecting it on my very first mammogram at age 42.
I remember thinking I would be very ill for several weeks and then die. Simple as that.
It's a journey one must ultimately make alone. Spouses, partners, family, friends, support groups...yes, fine, they are important and do indeed help. But let's face it, folks, there's no one on the surgery gurney, the exam room table, being poked and prodded, under the beam of the radiation machines, venturing into the unknown with medications....but YOU.
I remember a quote from Lance (when talking about his cancer experience) during a 1999 Tour de France video I have (that year is still my fave)...."You've gotta be brave and you've gotta be strong."
That became my personal mantra, not only throughout initial treatment, but in life.
Thanks, Lance, for being a source of inspiration and strength. So many times I'd remember that quote...whisper it to myself...think "What I have to deal with is nothing compared to what Lance went through. If he did that, I can do this."
The past five years have been an incredible journey of the spirit, soul, and in geographic miles. I have been at my very lowest at times, wondering how I could possibly take one more breath. I saw the life I had known for over 20 years disintegrate before my very eyes, leaving me with heartache I had not known possible. I have sat alone in the dark and sobbed, feeling as though my heart was literally breaking. I have felt my very soul rejoice in helping ease the physical and emotional pain of others. I have been in a household with another and felt more alone than if I had been living there by myself. I have struggled financially. I have known physical pain which caused me to cry out in distress. I have posed questions to myself...and found the answers within myself.
I have known what it is to reach a place of inner peace and contentment.
This past year, I traveled to places I only dreamed of and walked mystical and hallowed lands far across the sea, hand-in-hand with a handsome Scot...my Twin Flame...with whom I now find myself building a new life in a part of the United States where I relocated last summer....to a state I had never been in, to an apartment I had never seen, engaged to a man 4000 miles away. Yes, that is some leap of faith!
I have learned to love and to be loved. I have learned that it's okay to open my heart to someone and to trust again.
I have come to terms with my own mortality and to greet each day more joyously than before.
I have felt the love and support of my friends...lifting me up simply by their presence...after a 2:00 AM phone call during my first and only full-fledged panic attack, going out for a meal, firing up the grill on a Sunday afternoon and hanging out, and, of course, on the bikes...such special times on the bikes.... You know who you are....thank you for walking this path with me, sharing the down times and the joyous ones.
I have traveled to Washington, DC as a survivor advocate on behalf of the LAF as part of LiveSTRONG Day in year 2005, where I discussed survivorship issues with our nation's lawmakers. During that time, I became engaged to and spent a brief few days with the incredible man with whom I now share life.
This coming Wednesday, May 17, 2006, is LiveSTRONG Day, sponsored by The Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF). I invite you to join me for the next few days as I reflect on my cancer experience in observation of LiveSTRONG Day this year. Having been released this past week from the care of my oncologist after five years' survivorship, I find my thoughts turning inward.
There are many emotions which surface on being told cancer treatment has ended. Joy, yes, of course I am elated and grateful. There are also other emotions....I've been in my Sarah Connor/Warrior mode for five years...what do I do now?
Right from the get, the LAF has played a vital role in my journey, even in an indirect way such as now. One of the activities in which one can contribute is blogging about one's cancer experience. Perfect timing, guys, as I'm going through what I feel embodies the mission of the LAF....survivors and survivorship issues.
What now, indeed?
Sunday Daydreaming... ???Dave and I are just back from a short bike ride around town, during which we passed a picket line at a local nursing home and I was chased enthusiastically by two dogs. It's cloudy, windy, and a bit chilly, but it was a good ride...I needed to get out and clear away some cobwebs in my brain and spirit.
When we got home, we were looking at my collection of Ride for the Roses photo collages (framed photos and momentos from each of the four years...the last one with photos of us together), reminiscing about what a fun time that was...how that photo that was in the Austin newspaper captured such a story...our story...and the spirit of the Ride for the Roses Weekend.
Then we talked once again about how wonderful it would be to have a wee cozy cottage in Glen Coe and just live a simple life. He asks, "When are you going to write your book...???" as if it would be a best-seller...
You know, it's back to the "time" thing...when I was in Scotland, I had nothing to do, basically, except just "be." During that time I kept this journal and a diary and let my writer's soul fly free. It was somehow rewarding...satisfying...doing that...
My Dad used to tell me I should be a writer...folks...friends and people who hear my story tell me I should write a book about it all...
When does one find the time...and coordinate that with the creative writer's muse...to tackle such a project in between working, being a wife-cyclist-Reiki Master/Teacher-survivor advocate, paying bills, and taking care of all the annoying personal business/paperwork/issues that seem to be inherent in our lives these days?
I dunno.
When I was those three days in Lower Largo, I started telling my story...to my laptop, at least, which is an untiring, patient listener. But again, I had nothing to do but be mindful of the tide, chat with the birds and the local inhabitants (canine and human), walk and walk and walk on the beach, and let my stormy, introspective, wee strange soul fly free.
This past week I was released from the care of my oncologist after five years' cancer survivorship. It is, metaphorically speaking, the end of a life stage. I'm feeling rather...lost? open to the future? sad? elated? All perfectly normal emotions to be expected upon completing cancer treatment, especially given that the tamoxifen has been "messing with" my hormones for five years.
Can I carve out time now and then to take up the telling of my story? I dunno. Right at this precise moment, I feel I could...but we all know the muse is fickle and already tomorrow I have two meetings...Reiki students coming next weekend...phone calls I need to make tomorrow...
I dunno.
May 12 Frigid Friday!Well, perhaps not exactly frigid, but pretty close to it! So far it's in the mid 30s, very W I N D Y (has been for several weeks now) and we're having a mix of rain/sleet/snow.
Next Wednesday, May 17, is LiveSTRONG Day, sponsored by the Lance Armstrong Foundation. It is a day to wear yellow and stand tall and strong as a cancer survivor, or to wear yellow and show your support of survivors.
We all know someone who has been touched by cancer. Wearing yellow shows your support and helps raise awareness of survivorship issues.
As the quote goes, "Cancer may leave your body, but it never leaves your life."
Last year I traveled to Washington, DC and participated in LiveSTRONG Day on Capitol Hill as a member of the LAF's survivor advocacy Team, meeting with legislators regarding survivorship issues. This year I'm doing a couple of low-key things locally...and will be blogging about my cancer experience here in my Space.
You can learn more about the LAF at http:www.livestrong.org
So stay tuned and find something Yellow for next Wednesday...an LAF wristband, a yellow cap, a yellow kerchief...whatever!
Have a groovy weekend!
 May 08 Life Healing CommunityOne more note...
There's another new link in the Lists section...a link to the Life Healing Community in Missouri. My good friend Shaman Maggie Wahls is creating a place of healing, learning, and sharing in the Missouri countryside.
Check it out!     Exciting Changes!Seems like there are lots of groovy things happening right now!
I now have streaming video on my Web site at http://reikiwarmhands.com ! Cool, eh? I've had some clients and it looks like I've got at least one class coming up in next few weeks! I just love teaching!
Dave and I were introduced to My Video Talk (http://myvideosystem.com/77716/) recently and it is the most amazing and exciting thing we have seen in a very long time! This company has video e-mail (not only computer-to-computer, but to mobile phones, PDA's, IPODs, etc.), streaming video for Web sites, and video conferencing tools. The quality of the audio and video is virtually unsurpassed by anything else we have seen...and there aren't that many companies out there offering the technology in packages like MVT...they have packages for individuals all the way up to small/medium/large businesses.
It's such a more personal way of keeping in touch and in promoting one's business and a very useful tool. I'll be using the conferencing capability even in my Reiki work...following up with students/clients, additional training, etc.
I have already had results from video e-mail in the short time I've been using it in my Reiki work. WOW!
Have a job or own a business? Tell me about it and I can show you all sorts of brilliant ways you can use it! It's that cool and just makes the creative juices flow!
So, after much consideration, research, etc., I joined the MVT team! Dave and I both believe this technology will come to the forefront of Internet communications in the next 12-24 months...especially with gas prices on an unrelenting upward trend...and, hey, Bill Gates had to start somewhere, right?
My transcription work is going well....I'm very much enjoying working with my new company and being able to continue transcribing VA Hospital accounts. I'm part of a team of great folks who appreciate hard work. What a novel concept!
Springtime has arrived here in Minnesota...everything's green, the birds are nesting, the bats are back, and it's been W I N D Y as all get-out! (Whatever get-out denotes....)
Dave is riding riding riding his bike and enjoying it immensely.
I had volunteered to participate in an LAF LiveSTRONG Day event in my community if there was one...well...the LAF sent me the package of materials as if I were going to organize an event! YOINKS! I'd love to, but I'm only one person with a packed schedule as it is...so....looks like about the only thing I'll be doing is wearing yellow and blogging about my cancer experience on LiveSTRONG Day, which is May 17. Stay tuned for that entry, folks, and have yer reading spectacles handy...you think this entry is long....
Baby our dog is doing fine...she's been a family member for almost nine years now and seeming to turn white before our very eyes...but still healthy and frisky, although slowing down a wee bit.
 Anyhoo, we're fine and dandy and still enjoying one another's company! HA!
More exciting changes coming soon....stay tuned!
I leave you with the following thought,
"Let us look forward to the pleasing landscape of the future."
--- Chief John Ross, Cherokee, 1790-1866
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