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August 12 Relay for Life 2006"Had it. Fought it. Survived it."
Hibbing's annual American Cancer Society Relay for Life was held this weekend. I participated in this event last year and had done so in Texas since year 2002.
It was through volunteering for that event four years ago that I met two of my dearest friends, Sue, and then her partner Billie, both survivors at the actual event. There's just another way that cancer has brought positivity into my journey.
One year in Texas my cousin was there and we had a great time....a bittersweet event, surely, but such a special time we had together...laughing and cutting up like a couple of kids as usual when we're together...shedding a few tears for those we have lost...comforting one another...rejoicing in life and being together...just "be-ing."
Last year I went to the one here by myself. A special event, yes. This year even more memorable...
The Relay for Life is an event held across America at different times in the year. It is a fundraising event for the ACS. There are teams which get pledges from donors...the event is held in a partk or at a track, stadium, etc. Each team must have one member walking the path or track at all times. The event kicks off on a Friday evening at about 7:00 PM, going through the night to end at 7:00 AM the next morning.
One could say it symbolizes the cancer experience....going into the darkness and emerging into the light.
There is a survivor lap at the beginning in which all survivors present walk together often accompanied by a caregiver or family members. In the past, I have walked alone, with friends/other survivors, and with my cousin. This year, Dave was with me.
The survivors are all gathered together in front of the audience, awaiting their preentation and embarking on the survivor lap. I talked with a fascinating gentleman/survivor, a WWII veteran who was awarded four Bronze Stars for his service. There was a support group called the Sunny Survivors, each carrying a paper-and-cardboard sunflower they had made. During the ceremonies, one of the ladies became emotional and decided she could not do the lap and left...very distraught. Catching the eye of one of her friends in the group, I asked if she was okay....the response was that she was terminal and did not feel capable of carrying on with the ceremony...and I was handed her sunflower to carry for her.
Even now that simple act stirs such emotions in my soul....as we said to each other...."There by the grace of God go I...." It could be any one of us...at any time.
Should she ever read this...I carried your sunflower with pride, humility, and love...for you whom I have never met and probably never will. You were there walking strongly with us. It was my honor to do this for you. I wish you peace and comfort...and hope for brighter days during your time on this Earth.
There was Dave sitting in the audience...taking pictures...I could look out and see him...my love, my best friend, my rock, my wise shepherd. Hearing some conversation behind me, I turned to look.....and....
There was a bagpiper....kilt and all...the tartan resembling Dave's family McGregor.
Even though not on the stage with me....there was Scotland looking out for me...watching my back, so to speak...in the presence of that lone bagpiper.
That lone piper led the survivor walk...the tones of "Scotland the Brave" carrying through the evening air.
Nope, there was no bagpiper last year...or at any of these Relays I have been to in the past.
Quite a coincidence, you might say. Well, friends, there are no "coincidences" in life. Things are and happen as they are meant to be.
As my name was called, I went out on stage to start down the path of the survivor walk, and waved for Dave to join me. We walked hand-in-hand as we do...sometimes chatting...sometimes not...me taking pictures now and then.
I am so lucky...so blessed...to have this man in my life. Sometimes I just look at him in wonderment...this so precious soul who shares life with me....I ask myself, "Where did he come from?" Well, okay, the answer to that is Scotland....but you know what I mean...
In the photos, you'll see little white bags lining the walkways...those are luminarias....a candle inside a bag. Each of these is purchased in memory/support of those who have passed or are survivors...most of them are in memory of someone. Just at dusk/dark...the candles are lit....there is a period of quiet...the lights shine brightly...little stars....shining still in the night...It is quite a moving scene.
Survivors get an event t-shirt when they register at the event (I wore yellow instead, of course). This year the slogan on the back is:
Had it.
Fought it.
Survived it.
Now take a minute or two and go hug your beloved and tell him or her how much you love them.
August 05 Another WeekendHere it is Saturday evening and I'm perched at the coffee table in our living room. I've just shown Dave how to get started blogging, setting up his own personal Spaces. Kewl. We're now a blogging family, except for Baby.
 I wonder what she would write about, eh? So I'm listening to an Enya CD...The Memory of Trees...one of my faves.
It's been a well-rounded day, I think. Talked with a friend this morning, then Dave and I headed up to Biwabik to prowl around. We stopped at a little shop he found on his cycling tour the other day. He had coffee and I had mint cocoa...met the shopkeeper, who turns out to be a soul sister. Way kewl! She gifted me with a lovely quartz crystal...I was so touched and honored...and that crystal now resides on my desk in the office, close to my rocks from Nessie's home in that mystical land so far away.
After our drinks and some yummy banana bread, we went out to the nearby lake and sat for a spell. It certainly was lovely there. Back home, I worked for a while and Dave went out on the bike for about an hour.
Our plan for tomorrow is to go back to Gilbert with the bikes, park the truck at an entry point to the Trail, and ride for a bit. The weather has finally broken and it seems we may be rid of the bloody heat for the summer. Things should be cooling down from here on out. Funny to think that in about a month there could be snow on the ground.
I'm making my plans for my trip to Texas in October. I'll be taking the trusty laptop with me so I can keep in touch via email, make entries here, and ..... who knows.....invite the muse to travel with me...I envision nights on the country porch in Brenham writing....we'll see how that goes....
Well, it was soooo cool to find someone who is a soul sister...musician and all! .... fairly close by. I have been missing "my" people here. That sense of community.
I'm looking forward to getting out on the bike tomorrow. I'm seriously lacking in bike time these days. This part of the Mesabi Trail will be new to me and it looks very nice...different from here in that it is not as wooded, but rolling hills almost, and just calls out to be ridden!
All in all, it's been a good day. I'll leave you now and see how the pictures I took today turned out.
Peace August 03 Knew I'd Left It SomewhereDave and I were at a flea market that was part of the Mines and Pines Festival a few Saturdays ago. Prowling through what was mostly...um...just "stuff," at one booth I stopped, enchanted by a simple trivet/hot plate. It was abalone shells encased in laminate/plastic...very 1960-ish, almost Art Deco.
Something about it just called to me. The sparkle of the abalone shells with their Mother-of-Pearl look entertwined with turquoise. Silly. Don't need the thing. Okay, here's my two bucks and it comes home with me.
It's actually in good shape, just needs a wee bit of cleaning. In the kitchen I'm giving it a closer look, cleaning it and welcoming it to our home. Turning it over, I see the following tag underneath on the bottom...
TRIVET (HOT PLATE)
Handmade with Abalone
Shells taken by Divers
from the Ocean
Made by Craftsmen of
Betty's Shells, with the
Help of Nature
Well, hey, I knew I'd misplaced it somewhere along the way...
Guess it's come home now!
On My OwnHere I am on a very early Thursday morning, alone in the house with only my thoughts and our dog. And my tunes.
Dave is off on an adventure of his own...an overnight cycling trip to Babbitt, about 70 miles north of here. He'll be back tomorrow sometime, having made it safely to his destination after a good day's run on the bike.
Odd how one's life changes...truth be told, I thought I'd enjoy some time to myself. You know what I find to be both surprising and not...I'm missing him something fierce.
Sarah Conner has turned into a sentimental wimp! HA! Well, okay, let's just say she's mellowed a bit.
 Guess she just carries a slightly smaller-caliber Uzi these days...How many times in Scotland did we say "This isn't real life." It was certainly a holiday for me and life turned topsy-turvy for Dave...a woman inhabiting his bachelor digs, long weekend holidays traveling his country, the gatherings of friends for farewells in pubs, saying good-bye to life as he knew it...
Well, we're into "real life" these days...in the short span of about five months we have returned to the States, gone through a cancer recurrence scare for me, gotten married, moved, I've changed jobs, he's gotten his driver's license, we've waded our way through mountains of immigration paperwork, and he's raced for the first time here in America. YIKES! In five short months.
I guess the one thing I miss at times is this...this inner dialogue...sometimes creative, sometimes spiritual, often introspective.
I'm not just me these days...I'm a wife...a partner in a life team.
Back in Texas when preparing for my relocation to MN, I remember looking at it as ending one life and starting a new one. No problem...look at and then toss photographs of 40+ years...sort through the belongings of that many years, leaving behind everything material except what defined me as who I was at that time (lots of books, rocks, feathers, bike, drums...).
What I didn't prepare myself for was leaving "me" behind. I'm still me...but find it hard to squeeze in this sort of time...conversing with the muse perched on my shoulder, so to speak.
Don't get me wrong. I'm perfectly okay with this. I wouldn't trade any aspect of my life now for what was before. It was good before, just different. Now my heart is even more full and light and my days are joyous shared with my amazing Scot from across The Big Pond.
It's just different and something I hadn't taken into account. I suppose the fact that I may not attend the LAF Summit has crystallized this aspect...that I really have left behind who I was. I know that not attending some "silly" three-day meeting seems trivial to most of you...but participating in LAF events has been such a part of who I am...has had a major part in defining the person I am these days. Not attending it (and I haven't ruled it out completely at this point) has just triggered the fact that my life has changed.
Guess I'm just saying good-bye to that piece of my life tonight.
Perhaps I feel it more since May was my five-year cancerversary...five years of survivorship...released from treatment and oncologists...sort of a carryover of that "What do I do now?" feeling I had back in May. Participating in LAF activities gave me a sense of purpose to some extent, I suppose.
Perhaps I'm just taking stock tonight.
It's so easy in the everyday hectic world of working for a living, responsibilities...to let fade the passions that ignite one's soul. Survivorship activities, cycling, creative time, nurturing the spiritual body, strengthening the physical body...I have to remember what I tell others...that one needs to nurture oneself in order to have something to give to others.
Am I being too selfish...or not selfish enough? (That's a rhetorical question, so let's not all chime in, okay?)
My Life Medicine Wheel is slightly out of balance these days. At least I am aware of it and therein lies the first step to righting the imbalance.
All in all...I am knowing a happiness I never knew was available to me. Others, yes. Me, no way.
Perhaps I'm just missing my man tonight. He's a whistler, you know, and it's pretty darn quiet without him around.
I think I'll go out and look at some stars.
Peace
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